Until we're graced with the privilege of ogling Bayonetta's dangerous curves, there are many more babes in the gaming universe.While they're obviously only a collection of polygons, colors, and pixels, there's nothing stopping them from parading into our hearts with their saucy attitudes and irresistible charms. With that, here are ten of the sexiest female game characters ever served up in gaming - in no particular order. Cate Archer (No One Lives Forever) Never fall in love with a spy - you never know what kind of tricks they might have up their sleeve, especially one Cate Archer of the No One Lives Forever series. The games dropped off (rather disappointingly) after only one sequel - unless you want to count the atrocious Contract J.A.C.K. - but Cate's impish charms remained with us long after the second game's end. Catherine Ann Archer is quick-witted, resourceful, and in every right the female counterpart to Bond. Clad in svelte sixties attire and a sleek brown bob, Cate's the heroine you'll be taking control of in order to thwart H.A.R.M.'s delusional schemes. Previously a master thief, Cate's got the moves, the attitude, and the street smarts to make the best out of any situation. A woman who knows how to take charge is always sexy in my book, and so she takes her place (rightfully so) on this list.   SHODAN (System Shock) Though not technically a real female (or a person at all), SHODAN's seductive purr, interlaced with stuttering and glitches in the audio should linger with you as you make your way through System Shock. As an AI gone rampant, SHODAN's malevolence toward the human race is a bit daunting, but that's only a tough exterior, I'm sure. Underneath, I'm sure she's ready to crack some GLaDOS-esque jokes, then bake you a cake. Probably not, but we can dream, right? Admit it – from the first time you uncovered the biggest secrets in the games, you were enamored with the lovely SHODAN. Or, maybe you were creeped out.   Aya Brea (Parasite Eve) This blonde Boston girl is the star of the Parasite Eve games, both personal favorites of mine. A no-nonsense cop, and the daughter of both Japanese and American parents, she boasts beautiful, delicate features along with the will power to combat Eve, as well as her destructive mitochondria. Without divulging too much of the story for those who haven't enjoyed them yet, Aya is singlehandedly responsible for saving the whole of humanity from certain destruction. The tangled web woven from Melissa Pearce into Mitochondria Eve is quite the menacing storyline to work through, but Aya is steadfast and elegant throughout the entire ordeal. Plus, she's always looked killer in a simple jeans outfit. Mitsuru Kirijo (Persona 3) Okay, so some of you are obviously freaks with an older-woman fetish. Looking for a motherly type who's going to keep you in line, make sure you're getting good grades? Look for no one other than the matronly Mitsuru Kirijo of Persona 3. With gorgeous, flowing red hair, and the coolest disposition you'll ever see, Mitsuru is the go-to girl when in doubt regarding putting that evoker to your head and pulling the trigger. I'd let her handle my evoker anytime, just between you and me. Don't take Miss Kirijo for being easy, though - she does have a bit of daddy issues, but don't think you'll just be able to worm your way into her heart. Mitsuru seeks that of a strong heart - someone who knows where they're going in life. Enough said about her mind, though - look at those legs! Ulala (Space Channel 5) All us swingin' space cats have succumbed to Ulala's sultry charms. That blazing pink hair, and revealing vinyl uniform, and the reporter's mentality - she's got the guts to go where the others won't in order to get the best scoop! Plus, how slick are her dance moves? Don't pretend you weren't getting interested during the infamous plant and tentacle scene. Her pink lips and piercing blue eyes should have you entranced quicker than a chuuuuuuuu, CHU! Space Michael certainly wasn't complaining (RIP, MJ!). Keep shakin' it, Ulala, and we'll all stay glued to your swingin' report show. I never liked Pudding, anyway. Jill Valentine (Resident Evil) Oh, Jill. We know you're the master of unlocking, but we'd rather mix herbs with you, if you know what I mean. Jill takes her place (rightfully so) on this list, as she spent the better years of my PlayStation days as one of my first gaming girl-crushes. That smokin' blue tube top, miniskirt, and sultry pose? Who could forget the atrocious voice acting? I kid - Jill has only served to grow sexier over the years, from her start investigating Arklay with Barry, all the way to Resident Evil 5, adopting bleach-blonde hair and submitting to mind-control by Wesker. Steadfast and able to work her way out of the most grim spots (that "death" was for you, Chris!), Jill's the girl we'd have on our team any day. A staple of the survival horror girls, Jill will forever hold a well-deserved place in our inventories - yes, we most DEFINITELY want to pick her up, and/or make a Jill sandwich with her. Going too far now? Heh, okay.   Marle (Chrono Trigger) Chrono Trigger is considered to be one of the greatest RPGs of all time to many of its fans, and for good reason. It combined a stellar story with an endearing cast of characters that you just couldn't let go of when the story ended. One of said characters happened to be Marle, or Princess Nadia of Guardia. She's one of the biggest tomboys you'll ever meet, disguising even the fact that she is a princess to venture out of the castle so she can do as she pleases. In fact, doing so kicks off the events in Chrono Trigger. Her pendant reacts with Lucca's time-travel machine and Marle ends up way back in 600 A.D. I guess that's what teenage rebellion will do for you, huh? You slip out of the castle against your dad's wishes and you're thrown back in time. She's strong-willed, happy-go-lucky, and carries a mean crossbow. On top of that, she's parading around in a harem-like outfit akin to Jasmine from Aladdin. If you like your princesses sans distress, Marle will likely capture your heart. Bad Girl (No More Heroes) No More Heroes was a game filled with wonderful ladies, but none of them were quite as bad as Bad Girl. That is honestly the only name you could give to a woman who smacks men in bondage garb around with baseball bats. Bad Girl might look like a princess with her pink, super cute dress but she'll roll more curses off her tongue than Peach could ever muster, and the crude girls are always the ones to catch my eye! Despite her slightly psychotic nature, she seems like the perfect drinking buddy. Travis really missed out on something wicked. Hopefully we can see more of her in No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle? Franziska Von Karma (Phoenix Wright) Following in her father's footsteps, Franziska is quite the cold and ruthless prosecutor. She has quite the domineering personality, as evidenced with her beloved whip. Just like she cracked some sense into Phoenix, she'll do the same to you if you can't realize how deserving she is of a rank on this list. Her burning desire to become the perfect prosecutor, just as her father had done, is attractive by way of she's a woman who knows exactly what she wants out of life, and she'll do whatever it takes to get it. That sort of self-sufficiency is a rare trait in some of the sexiest female characters, and for that Franziska stands out. I'd hate to be on the receiving end of her whip. Or would I? Cortana (Halo) Though she's but another AI construct, she was imprinted with her creator's personality. Her ethereal blue, glowing body riddled with code has become a sort of symbol for the Halo series over the years. Ever the steadfast partner to John-117, this is one girl you won't want to break your promises to. Of course, for the pigs in us, she's not wearing a thing. Still, what makes her attractive is the fact that she's always there to depend on - Chief even braved Gravemind to recover this special little lady. If Cortana were real, you know half of the USNC would be running after her in a heartbeat. Don't get your hopes up, though - she chose Chief.

Since I'm right in the middle of packing up all of my belongings to move to our gorgeous new house (still a bit apprehensive about it), I haven't had a lot of time for gaming. It's taken its toll on me. When my head hits the pillow at night after a grueling day of moving, packing, taping, and labeling boxes and I realize I didn't boot up just ONE console, tears almost spring to my eyes. I'm wasting a lot of precious time unpacking t-shirts and underwear when I could be vegging out in front of the TV. Luckily, this week hasn't been too terrible. I've had the time to get in some much-needed gaming. Feeling like my old self again, even though my surroundings and my life are really changing right now. Isn't that strange? While things are slowly evolving around me, the only thing that feels like a constant is the fact that I can still game. With that said, let's take a look at what I've been playing: Damnation (360)   Let me begin by saying that I freelance at various gaming sites. I was assigned Damnation for review, though initially I thought (quite incorrectly) that it might be worth my time. Something is terribly wrong when you play Paws & Claws: Pet Resort for review and find yourself having more fun with it than what should be a typical third-person shooter. This atrocity is absolutely riddled with bugs, glitchy spots, and a ridiculously bad targeting system. You'd think that a third-person shooter could at least get a cover system right. Not so. While you're taking shots from three or four different locations, your only option is to crouch or run away like Cammie Dunaway from core Nintendo games. When games such as Wanted or Terminator Salvation can implement a viable cover system, you'd think that a brand new IP could handle its business properly. Couple that with vague objectives, wonky Prince of Persia-like acrobatics, and an open world that you'll have to wander around for a good What's more, the plot (along with the characters) are entirely throwaway. Their horrid voice actors don't do a particularly great job of convincing me that I should care even the slightest about what's going on within the game. It's just whatever. I can't even name them off the top of my head. When I look upon the bland, flat faces of the people I should care about (we're at war, after all!) I find myself counting down the minutes before I can turn off the 360 for the day, having properly reviewed the title. I rarely feel as though gaming is a chore. With Damnation, I'd rather be washing dishes, writing an essay, or watching the paint dry on a brand new car. I certainly do not recommend this pathetic excuse of a game. In fact, if by some happenstance you find it in your possession, do yourself a favor and send it straight to the microwave. Put it out of its misery. Rock Band Unplugged (PSP) If it’s a game that has absolutely anything at all to do with music, then count me in. I must see them all. Many are hit-or-miss, and many strike me as so inspiring that I go back to play them as often as possible. Two fantastic examples of this are Amplitude and Frequency, both games I enjoy often and have since their release back in the glory days of the PS2. Thinking that Harmonix had moved on to bigger and better things, I was a bit crushed inside to think that I would never again see a sequel to these successful music titles. One fateful day, Rock Band Unplugged for the PSP was announced and given a street date. If you were ever a fan of Frequency or Amplitude, then you should be delighted to know that Rock Band Unplugged is the sequel that you’ve been wishing for on all those sleepless nights. If you ever enjoyed Amplitude, you’ll remember the frenetic pace of notes flying at you and the button combinations required to capture them. Every aspect of each song featured on the game, such as the vocals, drums, and guitar are all set on different star paths just as you would see in regular Rock Band. Instead of performing songs with peripherals, you’re relegated to only two directions on the PSP’s D-pad and two face buttons. Using these four buttons (rather than five like you may be used to), you’ll complete piece by piece of entire songs until you’ve got each audio track that the song is comprised of captured. That is, until you reach the next phrase. If you can’t play the notes in one phrase correctly, the meter to the left of your screen will begin to drop. Keep missing notes, and you’ll fail out. The gameplay is nearly identical to Rock Band, so there’s really no learning curve unless you can’t quite get the hang of simply pressing the PSP’s face buttons. I've completed it already, but that doesn't stop me from going back to it in every spare moment that I have. Fantastic. The Legendary Starfy (DS) I had high hopes for The Legendary Starfy. I had only heard of it through snippets in magazines and the various previews across the net. I knew going into it I would be in for quite the simple adventure, but I could have never foreseen this level of simplicity. Starfy makes all of the Kirby games look like speed runs of Majora's Mask. Repetitive levels, dumbed-down controls, and ridiculously simple puzzles make Starfy less fun than edutainment for children who have never picked up a platformer. Despite its overly cutesy packaging and marketing I was hoping for an engaging and intuitive platformer with a little more meat to it, especially since Nintendo is lacking in that department lately. Ah, well. At least it's super cute. I guess you could call that a plus. Don't bother picking it up unless you enjoy breezing through a game that doesn't even bother to put up a fight. Still, interesting concept, and the gorgeous color scheme is much appreciated.  That's all for this week. Come back next week to see what I'm up to!

I thought it'd be right courteous of me to give you all a bit of insight into my history as a gamer and why you should bother to come back and read what I have to say. That's why I have initiated a short, introductory blog series that will give you a bit of insight into my history as a gamer, beginning at my experience with the NES and chronicling my adventures now. It's called A History of Violent Pixels, and this is the first part. Unlike those who feel pressured into indicating to everyone online that they did indeed begin their adventures in gaming via the Atari 2600 because that is the most widely accepted and almost inevitable response, I was introduced to gaming via the NES. Nothing wrong with that. Many days were spent in front of the television as my father kept me company. I regularly puzzled out Snake, Rattle, n' Roll, and my mother would hover around me as I did so - just to see what this video game thing was, never to join in. The inevitable Mario marathons took place late in the night when my younger self should have been in bed, though Dad knew and understood that I simply couldn't sleep until we topped the draw record in Hogan's Alley. I also was quite fond of Shooting Range, though the red-and-white umbrella-like targets proved difficult for my young eyes to track. Near the end of the NES's lifespan in my household we enjoyed Zelda, Metal Gear, and various other titles. One fateful day, my parents boxed up my favorite piece of technology and cruelly sold it off to a buyer at a yard sale. They even carted off the Zapper, something I still miss even these days. I'm hoping to buy another one whenever I can afford to rebuild my NES collection. After mourning the loss of my NES, I endured a long period of time spent having to borrow friends' SNES games and systems in order to get my kicks. I never truly had a SNES of my own, sad to say, until a few years ago when I began my own personal collection. With that said, though, I enjoyed many of the classics such as Chrono Trigger, Earthbound, Super Mario All-Stars, Super Mario RPG, plus various Final Fantasies that I found to be phenomenal and absolutely worth all the time I poured into them. I also quite enjoyed Terra Nigma. At such a young age I was already hooked. Unfortunately, I would often blame my parents for forcing me to forgo the SNES, because even though my father facilitated and fed my addicition, they were of the mindset that I should be content to play with my dolls and various other boring conventions. This caused ongoing, heated arguments and tantrums. Luckily, they gave in and purchased a Genesis for me from the pawn shop. The days of the Genesis were some of my glory days. I was endlessly flustered with Buster's Hidden Treasure, as I could not wrap my tiny brain around the later levels featuring lava and precise jumps. I did find my forte in Tempo (Check it out, ya know. He makes it funky, and he's good to go.) and Sonic, as well as Sonic Spinball, which I'm terribly excited about now that I can play it via the 360. Sweeeeet. Dad and I had some friendly shots at each other with Mortal Kombat, and my mother would often complain that my young brain shouldn't be exposed to SUCH VIOLENCE!!!1!one!eleven! Luckily my dad wasn't worried about such asinine remarks, and our sprees continued. Sometimes with Alex Kidd, sometimes with Altered Beast, and quite often with Captain America and the Avengers. Since we weren't exactly rolling in the dough, many of our games would come from pawn shops or yard sales, I would always get the most random of assortments. Even though my mother didn't exactly enjoy the time Dad and I would be spending together or separately gaming, she knew that's just the kind of person he was then, and thus accepted him and my almost inbred love of games as well. It's no surprise then that after the reign of the Genesis in my household and in my bedroom, an explosion of technology was about to occur. What was this explosion, exactly? Was it messy? Do you even care? Find out next time, on the next exciting episode of Dragon Ball Z, er, A History of Violent Pixels. Thanks for reading.