I’m not violent, I swear.

Don’t you just hate when you go into a game shop, all excited about a game, only to find that it isn’t actually released until the day after you thought? How annoying is it when that happens? What’s even worse is when the shop has the game on display, with the price, and you take it to the counter, only to be met by a smug clerk declaring that it isn’t actually available for sale until tomorrow. Now, the clerk mightn’t actually be smug but, naturally, you perceive him that way. He’s denying you what you want, granted he’s doing his job, but at the time, you neither care nor acknowledge this.

The irrational man would begin screaming, loudly, until escorted off the premises, or until he tires himself out – after all, screaming is a tiring affair. But the sane man (I like to think of myself as being quite sane), well, he contemplates, or rather daydreams about walking into the store, loaded shotgun in hand. Imagine with me for a second:

It’s a nice day. Henry Street, much the same as any busy shopping street in the world, is, well, busy as usual. You stroll into the shop with a long overcoat on, clearly out of place for the season. You proceed to the counter, remove a long-barrelled shotgun from this dark-brown overcoat, and then calmly place it so the pump-action is resting at the edge of the counter, and pointed directly at the clerk’s chest.

Now, in a calm, but stern tone, you politely ask for a copy of the game (in this case ArmA 2). The clerk informs you that it can’t be sold. You know they have it out the back, and there really is no reason for them not to sell it (ok, maybe a few dozen legal reasons). But, with a quick flip of the wrist, you load a shell effortlessly into the muzzle of the gun. As one would expect, the clerk immediately hurries himself out to the back and returns moments later with a copy of this prized game.

Obviously this is just a dream, and one should never attempt anything that resembles this whatsoever. But wouldn’t the world be such a better place if gamers were in charge? I’d have ArmA 2, not that this little story is about me, the shop would have my money, and we’d all be happy (apart from the scared clerk, although if he had just given it in the first place…). One really can only dream, though.

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