Until we’re graced with the privilege of ogling Bayonetta’s dangerous curves, there are many more babes in the gaming universe.While they’re obviously only a collection of polygons, colors, and pixels, there’s nothing stopping them from parading into our hearts with their saucy attitudes and irresistible charms. With that, here are ten of the sexiest female game characters ever served up in gaming – in no particular order.
Cate Archer is one spy you’d love to have on your side.
Cate Archer (No One Lives Forever)
Never fall in love with a spy – you never know what kind of tricks they might have up their sleeve, especially one Cate Archer of the No One Lives Forever series. The games dropped off (rather disappointingly) after only one sequel – unless you want to count the atrocious Contract J.A.C.K. – but Cate’s impish charms remained with us long after the second game’s end. Catherine Ann Archer is quick-witted, resourceful, and in every right the female counterpart to Bond. Clad in svelte sixties attire and a sleek brown bob, Cate’s the heroine you’ll be taking control of in order to thwart H.A.R.M.’s delusional schemes. Previously a master thief, Cate’s got the moves, the attitude, and the street smarts to make the best out of any situation. A woman who knows how to take charge is always sexy in my book, and so she takes her place (rightfully so) on this list.
“Look at you, hacker.”
SHODAN (System Shock)
Though not technically a real female (or a person at all), SHODAN’s seductive purr, interlaced with stuttering and glitches in the audio should linger with you as you make your way through System Shock. As an AI gone rampant, SHODAN’s malevolence toward the human race is a bit daunting, but that’s only a tough exterior, I’m sure. Underneath, I’m sure she’s ready to crack some GLaDOS-esque jokes, then bake you a cake. Probably not, but we can dream, right? Admit it – from the first time you uncovered the biggest secrets in the games, you were enamored with the lovely SHODAN. Or, maybe you were creeped out.
Aya’s a knockout, both with firearms and her mitochondrial powers.
Aya Brea (Parasite Eve)
This blonde Boston girl is the star of the Parasite Eve games, both personal favorites of mine. A no-nonsense cop, and the daughter of both Japanese and American parents, she boasts beautiful, delicate features along with the will power to combat Eve, as well as her destructive mitochondria. Without divulging too much of the story for those who haven’t enjoyed them yet, Aya is singlehandedly responsible for saving the whole of humanity from certain destruction. The tangled web woven from Melissa Pearce into Mitochondria Eve is quite the menacing storyline to work through, but Aya is steadfast and elegant throughout the entire ordeal. Plus, she’s always looked killer in a simple jeans outfit.
Mitsuru Kirijo (Persona 3)
Okay, so some of you are obviously freaks with an older-woman fetish. Looking for a motherly type who’s going to keep you in line, make sure you’re getting good grades? Look for no one other than the matronly Mitsuru Kirijo of Persona 3. With gorgeous, flowing red hair, and the coolest disposition you’ll ever see, Mitsuru is the go-to girl when in doubt regarding putting that evoker to your head and pulling the trigger. I’d let her handle my evoker anytime, just between you and me. Don’t take Miss Kirijo for being easy, though – she does have a bit of daddy issues, but don’t think you’ll just be able to worm your way into her heart. Mitsuru seeks that of a strong heart – someone who knows where they’re going in life. Enough said about her mind, though – look at those legs!
Ulala (Space Channel 5)
All us swingin’ space cats have succumbed to Ulala’s sultry charms. That blazing pink hair, and revealing vinyl uniform, and the reporter’s mentality – she’s got the guts to go where the others won’t in order to get the best scoop! Plus, how slick are her dance moves? Don’t pretend you weren’t getting interested during the infamous plant and tentacle scene. Her pink lips and piercing blue eyes should have you entranced quicker than a chuuuuuuuu, CHU! Space Michael certainly wasn’t complaining (RIP, MJ!). Keep shakin’ it, Ulala, and we’ll all stay glued to your swingin’ report show. I never liked Pudding, anyway.
Jill Valentine (Resident Evil)
Oh, Jill. We know you’re the master of unlocking, but we’d rather mix herbs with you, if you know what I mean. Jill takes her place (rightfully so) on this list, as she spent the better years of my PlayStation days as one of my first gaming girl-crushes. That smokin’ blue tube top, miniskirt, and sultry pose? Who could forget the atrocious voice acting? I kid – Jill has only served to grow sexier over the years, from her start investigating Arklay with Barry, all the way to Resident Evil 5, adopting bleach-blonde hair and submitting to mind-control by Wesker. Steadfast and able to work her way out of the most grim spots (that “death” was for you, Chris!), Jill’s the girl we’d have on our team any day. A staple of the survival horror girls, Jill will forever hold a well-deserved place in our inventories – yes, we most DEFINITELY want to pick her up, and/or make a Jill sandwich with her. Going too far now? Heh, okay.
Marle (Chrono Trigger)
Chrono Trigger is considered to be one of the greatest RPGs of all time to many of its fans, and for good reason. It combined a stellar story with an endearing cast of characters that you just couldn’t let go of when the story ended. One of said characters happened to be Marle, or Princess Nadia of Guardia. She’s one of the biggest tomboys you’ll ever meet, disguising even the fact that she is a princess to venture out of the castle so she can do as she pleases. In fact, doing so kicks off the events in Chrono Trigger. Her pendant reacts with Lucca’s time-travel machine and Marle ends up way back in 600 A.D. I guess that’s what teenage rebellion will do for you, huh? You slip out of the castle against your dad’s wishes and you’re thrown back in time. She’s strong-willed, happy-go-lucky, and carries a mean crossbow. On top of that, she’s parading around in a harem-like outfit akin to Jasmine from Aladdin. If you like your princesses sans distress, Marle will likely capture your heart.
Bad Girl (No More Heroes)
No More Heroes was a game filled with wonderful ladies, but none of them were quite as bad as Bad Girl. That is honestly the only name you could give to a woman who smacks men in bondage garb around with baseball bats. Bad Girl might look like a princess with her pink, super cute dress but she’ll roll more curses off her tongue than Peach could ever muster, and the crude girls are always the ones to catch my eye! Despite her slightly psychotic nature, she seems like the perfect drinking buddy. Travis really missed out on something wicked. Hopefully we can see more of her in No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle?
Franziska Von Karma (Phoenix Wright)
Following in her father’s footsteps, Franziska is quite the cold and ruthless prosecutor. She has quite the domineering personality, as evidenced with her beloved whip. Just like she cracked some sense into Phoenix, she’ll do the same to you if you can’t realize how deserving she is of a rank on this list. Her burning desire to become the perfect prosecutor, just as her father had done, is attractive by way of she’s a woman who knows exactly what she wants out of life, and she’ll do whatever it takes to get it. That sort of self-sufficiency is a rare trait in some of the sexiest female characters, and for that Franziska stands out. I’d hate to be on the receiving end of her whip. Or would I?
Though she’s but another AI construct, she was imprinted with her creator’s personality. Her ethereal blue, glowing body riddled with code has become a sort of symbol for the Halo series over the years. Ever the steadfast partner to John-117, this is one girl you won’t want to break your promises to. Of course, for the pigs in us, she’s not wearing a thing. Still, what makes her attractive is the fact that she’s always there to depend on – Chief even braved Gravemind to recover this special little lady. If Cortana were real, you know half of the USNC would be running after her in a heartbeat. Don’t get your hopes up, though – she chose Chief.